We read an email from a PST listener on the air this morning. She just got married about 4 months ago, and her new hubby had just taken over doing the home finances. He set aside money for her to buy lunch, get her nails done, go shopping, etc. She's taking it as being an "allowance" and is freaking out! It's not an allowance....she's not doing chores to get the money! We do the same thing in our house...I do the finances (John has zero interest in doing it, it's not like I insisted), and I give us both a certain amount of cash each paycheck to do whatever with....and there's a loose understanding that we try to make it last until the next paycheck. If not, no big deal...he checks with me to make sure we have the money in the account so he can use his debit card...or he'll just charge it and we'll figure it out when the bill comes! It's not an allowance just because I'm giving it to him, it's just the way our budget works. He could go to an ATM and take out the same amount, I just choose to go to the bank and get it in cash and give it to him. I think you're more mindful of what you're spending when it's cash, instead using your atm card all the time...then, it's too easy to overspend! It's just what has always worked for us...not an allowance!
What works for you?
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We have a similar set up to yours in our house. I don't consider it an allowance at all. We've been married fror 20 yrs and do not have a joint account. My money goes into his bank account and he pays the bills with it. Each week he gives me money (the same amt each wk) to cover my bills, grocery and spending money. I do not have access to his account nor does he have access to mine and I do not have an ATM card. This works for us really well.
ReplyDeleteYknow what's funny about this is my father was just telling me that he was telling another family member (whose wife manages the money), that if he wanted more spending money, he should just open up his own checking account and not tell his wife. OMG, I was like DAD WHY ARE YOU GIVING OUT SUCH TERRIBLE ADVICE?!? He says, "Well, I did the same thing once to your mom and she was really pissed."
ReplyDeleteI was like, "SEE! That's EXACTLY why you don't do that sort of stuff."
He goes: "Well your mom got over it eventually. So I told him to go ahead and do it. It'll be fine."
omg. my family.
I had to comment after a comment was made on the show yesterday about those married couples with seperate bank accounts "is not really a marriage". I definitley disagree..as most marriages end because of fighting over finances. I have been married for 11 years and we continue to have seperate accounts. He handles certain bills and I handle certain bills. No fighting over when bills are paid, what each is spending, and how the accounts are managed. I would say that is a Successful marriage.
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